


Plant Boy Phil and Space Boy Dan: A Comedy

by phanburnhamizzard



Series: Alanna Harlow's 30 Day OTP Challenge [11]
Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), dan and phil
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, AU, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Dan and Phil AU, Gen, M/M, Plantboy Phil Lester, Spaceboy Dan Howell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 03:03:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15258006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanburnhamizzard/pseuds/phanburnhamizzard
Summary: Phil Lester studies Botany at University and works part time in a plant store to help pay for his education.  Dan, a very odd sounding man, comes in and makes a curious demand.This story is part of Alanna Harlow's 30 Day OTP Challenge.  This is my "spin" on it.  The theme was "Plant Boy Phil and Space Boy Dan".  Stick around to the end for my spin.





	Plant Boy Phil and Space Boy Dan: A Comedy

Phil Lester closed the cash register and handed the woman her change. 

“It’s a lovely Gardenia, and I think your mother will just love it!”

“Thanks so much!” The woman replied, taking her purchase and walking out of the store.

Phil looked up and saw a strange looking man approaching him from the front door.  
The man looked nervous, but that wasn’t the only thing off about him. He glanced down suddenly, aware that he was staring, but there was just something not quite “right” about the tall man.

“Hello,” the man said suddenly, startling Phil and making him jump a bit. The man’s voice was a bit monotone, almost as if he had studied how other people talked and was trying to imitate the sounds.

“Hi!” Said Phil cheerfully, “How can I help you today?”

“I would like a plant, please,” came the stoic reply from the tall, thin man with brown hair and brown eyes. 

“Okay, certainly! What type of plant are you looking for?” Phil asked, helpfully.

The taller man paused, then said, “The green kind, please.”

Phil wanted to laugh, but the man was so earnest. Maybe English was his second language, he suddenly thought. He decided that must be the issue, so he spoke a bit more slowly and clearly.

“We have many green plants, Sir,” Phil began. “Do you want a plant with flowers on it?”

“Hello, I need a green plant,” the brown haired man repeated. 

Ooohhkay, Phil thought. This is more than just a language barrier. 

He made himself smile, and said, slowly, “Please come with me,” and gestured for the man to follow as he made his way down the aisle to the leafy green potted plants. 

“Here you are, Sir,” Phil said. “Green plants.”

“I would like one green plant, please,” the man repeated yet again.

“Yes, you may pick any one you like!” Phil said enthusiastically. 

The man stepped forward and felt the leaf of the fern, then, without warning, he took a bite. 

Phil, shocked, could not contain his gasp. The man turned to him, part of the fern still sticking out of his mouth.

“Is there a problematic situation occurring?” He asked, almost robotically.

“Well, yes,” Phil stammered. “You just ate a plant.”

“That is not a problematic situation,” he replied, calmly. 

Phil raised an eyebrow and said nothing.

“I should offer you a bite as well?” The man asked.

“No. No, that’s not the issue here,” Phil began, “the thing is that you just ate a non-edible plant. People don’t eat ferns.”

“Ah, I see,” the man responded. 

Silence.

“Am I on one of those hidden camera shows?” Phil asked, hoping like crazy that the answer was ‘yes’. 

“What is a ‘crazy hidden camera show’?” The man asked.

Okay, Phil thought, I’m going to go ahead and cross a line here. 

“Who are you?” He asked.

“I am Dan,” the man replied. “I would one green plant, please.”

“Yes, I know you want a green plant. Where are you from, Dan?”

“I have traveled very far on my search for a green plant. This one will do nicely, please.” Dan replied.

“Oh,” Phil said, feeling somewhat relieved, ‘what country are you from?” 

“What is a country?” Dan asked. 

Ooookay, Phil thought. Let’s just rephrase this question. 

“Where are you from?” He asked.

“I am Dan, from the Zephyr Quadrant of the Andromeda Galaxy, and I would like….”

“One green plant, please,” they said in unison. 

“Yes, please,” Dan answered. 

“You’re telling me,” Phil said, taking a small step backwards, “That you are from space?”

“We are all from space,” Dan said, looking at Phil as if he were a bit daft.

Phil shook his head to try to settle his thoughts, then tried again. “You are from a different planet from Earth?”

“Yes,” Dan answered simply.

“And you came here for a green plant?”

“Yes,” Dan replied. “I’d like this one, please.”

“You can have it,” Phil said, but why do you need it?”

“Because I am hungry,” Dan replied. 

“Uh, would you like your plant for here or to go?” Phil asked, mostly serious. 

“I will take my plant with me” Dan answered, picking up the fern and taking another bite. 

Dan then turned, and started to make his way towards the exit.

“Wait!” Phil called out, “I want to ask you a few questions.”

“You may ask me a few questions,” Dan said, while chewing on the fern. 

“Well, I mean, um, do you have a space ship?”

“I have a rocket ship,” Dan replied.

“Do you, uh, come in peace and all that?”

“I came for a green plant,” Dan said.

“Yes,” Phil said, “but do you like humans? Do you want to be friends with us?”

“I like the plants on Earth. I do not study the humans.”

“So, like, what do you do for work on your planet?”

“I live in a rocket ship. There, I study plants.”

“Oh wow,” Phil said, ‘like a botanist?”

Dan was silent. Phil realized he probably didn’t know the word.

“Um, I study plants, too! I’m studying to be a Botanist, which means a person who studies plants. I’m working here in this store to pay my way through school.”

Dan remained silent. 

“Do you have others with you on your rocket ship?” He asked.

“I am alone on the rocket ship,” Dan replied.

Suddenly, Phil got an idea. The idea was crazy, but he decided to go for it. 

“Can I come with you on your rocket ship and study plants with you?” He asked.

Dan stared for several moments before responding. Then, he answered, “I will take you on the rocket ship to study plants.” 

 

Phil couldn’t believe it! He got motion sickness very easily, but the chance to study plants on different planets was an opportunity he just could not pass up. 

“Wow, okay, uh, thank you, Dan!” Phil enthused. 

“It is time to go to the rocket ship,” Dan said. 

“I need to go home and pack the things I will need on the rocket ship,” Phil explained.

“I will follow, then take you to the rocket ship,” Dan said.

 

Phil nearly sprinted home, with Dan keeping up with him easily. Once he got there, he threw some toiletries in a suitcase along with a few changes of clothes and some Botany text books. He looked around his apartment, thought about leaving a letter and a final check for the landlord, then decided he didn’t care. He turned to Dan, “Okay. I’m ready.”

“For what?” Dan said. 

“To go to the rocket ship!” Phil said. 

“What rocket ship?” Dan asked.

“Your rocket ship!” Phil replied, suddenly confused again.

Then Dan, who had had a straight face the entire time, started to giggle. 

“What’s so funny?” Phil asked. 

“You should probably ask your brother that,” Dan said, pointing to the hallway.

Martyn burst through the door and fell onto the couch, laughing. 

“MARTYN!” Phil exclaimed, punching his older brother on the shoulder as hard as he could. 

“Ow!” Martyn yelled. “That really hurt!”

“I can’t believe you did this to me!” Phil said, embarrassed and angry at the same time. “And who is this guy?”

“Hi,” Dan said, putting out his hand in introduction, “I’m Dan. I’m an actor. I’m afraid I was paid by your brother to play this ridiculous part as some sort of family joke.”

“Hi,” Phil said loosely shaking Dan’s hand before turning back to his brother. “I can’t believe you did this to me! I’ll be fired from the store!”

“No you won’t. I told your boss about it a week ago. He’s there covering for the rest of your shift. You shouldn’t have to work on your birthday anyway.”

“Oh, it’s your birthday? Well, Happy Birthday,” Dan said.

“Thanks, uh, Dan,” Phil said hesitantly. He didn’t know what to believe anymore. 

“Laugh, Phil!” Martyn said, as he stood up from the couch and gently took the suitcase out of Phil’s fist. “It was just a joke! We’re taking you out now! Mum and Dad are downstairs waiting in the car.”

“You were a really good actor,” Phil said, calmer now as he accepted that the joke really was funny and no harm was done.

“Thanks,” Dan said, and smiled. 

Phil drew in a breath. That dimple. He hadn’t seen that yet. That smile. My goodness, that smile. 

He said, “So, you’re an actor?”

“I want to be one, yeah. I’m going to University for Law actually, but I want to be a theatre performer one day.”

“Well, you did a good job staying in character,” Phil said. 

“Thanks,” Dan said, blushing a bit, “well, I guess I’m all done here. I’ll be going now. It was nice to meet everyone and…”

“No, wait,” Phil heard himself say. “You should come to dinner with us.”

Dan paused and looked at Martyn, who shrugged, then nodded. 

“I mean, you seem like fun people so, um, yeah, sure, why not? I suddenly have 20 pounds to spare anyway,” he giggled.

Dan and Phil sat in the back of the van, Martyn and Cornelia in the second seat, and Mr. and Mrs. Lester in the front. They made their way to Phil’s favorite restaurant, “Sushi Rockz”. 

“Do you like sushi?” Phil asked Dan, trying to make conversation.

“I like green plants,” Dan replied. 

Phil doubled over laughing. “I can’t believe yo actually chewed and swallowed a fern!”

“It was hard,” Dan admitted, “both to get it down and to do it without laughing!”

“Well, you had me fooled,” Phil said.

“So, you’re studying botany?” Dan asked.

“That and video editing,” Phil said.

“Our Phily is quite the sensation on YouTube, Mrs. Lester called back from the front of the car.

“Mum!” Phil said, embarrassed. 

“Oh really? What’s your channel?” Dan asked.

“It’s called ‘Amazing Phil’,” Phil replied, sheepishly.

“Well that’s easy to remember. I’l check it out!” Dan said, enthusiastically.

Later that night, after Dan had been dropped off back at his parents house, he did indeed check out “Amazing Phil” and he decided that he truly was amazing. He left a comment on each of his videos and was surprised when Phil messaged him back. 

It was the beginning of a beautiful story.


End file.
